Let’s talk about Instagrammers. I don’t want to mention anyone by name, but have you seen the empty litany of posts that fly on feeds these days? With the rise of Instagram stories, social mavens have a chance to share even more than what they were already sharing. Which is to say, not much.
Some of the bright stars of the Instagram world have a very clear purpose—promoting a personal brand, building readership for a publication, or courting customers for a business. If well executed, their Instagram strategies offer value to followers while engaging them in a new idea or product.
In other words, there’s a point to their posting.
But then, there are those whose Instagram feed looks something like this:
- 10 AM – My dog woke me up. Look how adorable he is.
- 10.30 AM – My human made me coffee. Look how adorable he is!
- 11 AM – Just me, stretching out. Watch me turn a boring daily moment into a story you should see!
- 12:30 PM – Walking into the elevator. I’m just about to have a doctor’s appointment. Really, I’m just walking into an elevator.
- 2 PM – Update on my health. Also, guys, did you see this how weird this office chair is?
Should I even continue? If you’re following many people on Instagram, you’ve seen some of them doing this.
This is not normal. It’s called over-sharing, and it’s an issue we have to discuss.
Although it’s nice for us to follow each other on social media—and share important events in our daily lives—I’m not really interested in finding out what’s in your grocery bag and or how many mangoes you can eat in 5 minutes on a live broadcast.
Why should we care?
The problem is, this trend is pervasive. Most of our Facebook friends are doing it, and almost everyone on Instagram is hopping on board. Can we call the tendency to overshare a disease of the modern era? Probably, yes.
In 2016, researchers from Oxford University surveyed over 3,300 people to find out if more friends on social media meant having more real friends in real life. The research showed that the average number of Facebook friends was 166 for women and 145 for men. The users considered only 28% of the people in their lists to be close or genuine friends. It gets better: They said that, on average, they would turn to only four of them in a crisis.
Is the same true for you? How many social media “friends” of yours are actual, real-world friends? Not many, right?
That’s exactly what makes over-sharing a problem. You’re providing private information to people who couldn’t care less about it. You’re basically spamming their feeds.
But beyond annoyance of over-sharing spam, spreading content to almost-stranger is dangerous. What if someone plans to break into your house? The fact that you post where you are at any time of the day makes that easy for them. And don’t even get me started on people who post photos of their credit cards on social media.
Last, but certainly not least, over-sharing can ruin your reputation. If you consider yourself to be a serious business person or you intend to become one in the near future, posting one half-naked photo after another is not a good idea. Imagine what potential employers will find!
Why do people over-share?
There are multiple reasons behind this behavior, and they all point to potentially serious problems.
1. Boredom
When you have absolutely no idea what to do with your free time, social media comes to the rescue. You start by following other people’s stories and updates. Then, you assume it would be fun to start sharing your own life, so you start engaging in different activities that are worth sharing.
Engaging in activities to beat boredom is a good thing. Engaging in activities because you need something “shareable” is not a good MO. You begin to cling to validation based on engagement with your social media activity. But that kind of validation is empty—it says nothing about what you’re really doing (or not doing) and keeps you away from valuable social interaction and “deep work” goal-achieving.
2. Self-doubt
When you’re not getting enough attention in real life, you turn to social media. When you start posting, you get likes and comments from your friends. Your ego loves this—it’s an affirmation that what you’re doing is GOOD. By extension, it’s easier for to believe that you are a good person.
But hurriedly composed and shared photos and videos don’t really get to who you are. They merely distract from your deeper character that you should be focused on—both the bad (that you need to work on healing/fixing) and the good (which you should be sharing/showing as often as you can).
3. The illusion of being your true self
So what happens when you don’t do that deep internal digging and just stick to social media affirmations? Well, you actually convince yourself that the superficial creature you’ve created for the world on social channels is actually you.
In a recent study, researchers found that people’s Facebook-self was very different from their true character. The study showed that people with low self-esteem and high levels of narcissism tend to use Facebook more, and they post self-promotional photos enhanced with Photoshop and filters.
That’s because they like the attention, which motivates them to create a whole other social personality that’s more likable than their true selves.
With this kind of social media character-building, identity becomes a serious problem. You lose sense of your true self, and aren’t even sure how to begin living authentically.
4. A false sense of security
When you’re behind a screen, you feel more comfortable talking about controversial issues. That may lead you to write several social messages expressing your points of view. And sure, expressing yourself is not a bad thing, but there’s a time and a place for it. Doing it too much in the wrong venue is a problem. Either you’ll turn people off, or you’ll become an infamous troll—the social media-obsessed individuals who love to fan the flames of controversy. Many of them became trolls simply to keep the attention flowing in their direction; to do that, they become increasingly inflammatory on social media.
But this security has other pitfalls, too—like sharing vulnerable personal information with people you hardly know. When in doubt, keep sensitive personal information close to your chest until you know you can trust someone.
I mean, how do you think catfishing got started?
5. Sense of belonging
Social media gives you the opportunity to become part of a community. That belonging is intoxicating, and may lead to spending too much time on social platorms and neglecting real social situations.
But in reality, this social media time is making you increasingly isolated and unhappy. There was a study done on this; you can read the full article here.
It’s better to belong somewhere in the real world than to belong to, say, the Instagram yoga community (which is fake, by the way).
6. A desire to follow trends
You see influencers over-sharing all the time. You see some of your friends do it. So you assume it’s some kind of cool trend and you start doing it, too.
Reality hit: Social media posting is only cool in moderation. If you have something really fun or important to share, do it. If you start sharing daily moments and all kinds of things people don’t care about, you’re going too far. Not only will you lose valuable time composing posts that are designed only to fit in with a trend, but you’ll neglect real-world friendships and responsibilities that are far more important.
At the end of the day, what will “trend following” get you?
7. A desire to be “engaged”
Popular brands and influencers are calling you to action all the time. They will invite you to take part in a challenge that requires you to post photos every day, or submit posts to support a cause. This may seem fun, but encourages over-sharing.
If you want to support a cause, find a non-profit that you can donate to. Or volunteer.
Yep, I’m over-sharing. What can I do?
It’s a good thing you recognized it! Now let’s do something about it. Consider the following:
- Think of your motives behind posting on any/all social networks. If you joined Facebook to stay in touch with friends and see family photos, for instance, do you really need to be spending your time commenting on political posts? Remember your positive motives and then cut out the negative over-sharing and engagement that don’t serve them.
- Think of the effects of each post you’re about to share. What would people think about it? What would your kid’s teachers think about it? What would your employer think about it? Does it have a positive purpose?
- Recognize the moment of sharing too much. Personal things (such as your address, credit card number, or family troubles) should stay private. Ask yourself if you’re putting family, friends, or your own health/safety in danger. Some things are just not worth sharing, so shy away from posts that make you or others uncomfortable.
Bottom line: Over-sharing is not cool. Social media was designed to connect us so that we can live our lives more fully, not so we could bury our heads in the sand or find quick-fixes to personal problems.
So ask yourself before you post next time: Are you using social media for good or for superficial personal gain? Are you being authentic? And are you engaging others to lift them or tear them down?
Honest answers will tell you everything you need to know about your sharing habits—and which ones you need to cut out.
If you’re looking for serious, positive social content—including invaluable business advice, live coaching, money tips, and daily inspiration—then follow ETR Owner Craig Ballantyne on Instagram!
Craig posts daily stories with purpose, giving you valuable content to grow your lives, your relationships, and your businesses. Follow him today @realcraigballantyne!
The post 7 Signs That You’re Over-Sharing on Social Media appeared first on Early To Rise.
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